Ethanolophobics?

Keith Lynch is a dear friend, fellow coworker, reformed brother and sharp thinker. He just sent this email to me that I just had to post. I've highlighted his "tongue in cheek" comments in orange:

Dear Friends,
I'm not sure I understand what's going on in this story (below) from the AP. Why is Eugene V. Robinson getting treatment for alcoholism? Why does society force such labels and stereotypes on ethanolites? I'm so sick of all this ethanolophobic rhetoric!

Gay Episcopal Bishop Seeks Treatment for Alcoholism
Tuesday, February 14, 2006

CONCORDE, N.H. — The Episcopal Church's first openly gay bishop, V. Gene Robinson, has started treatment for alcoholism, a spokesman said Tuesday.
Diocese of New Hampshire spokesman Mike Barwell said Robinson told clergy the news in an e-mail Monday. Barwell referred further questions Tuesday to other officials who were not immediately available to comment.
Robinson was elected bishop of New Hampshire in 2003 and confirmed by the national church, causing an upheaval not only in the Episcopal Church, but the worldwide Anglican Communion of which it is part.

Look you narrow minded Bible thumpers! Gene does NOT have an "alcohol problem". He was born that way. He's just embracing the nature of his creation. Now we who are less tolerant need to grow up and learn to celebrate the diversity of our culture by affirming Gene's choice to embrace ethanol as a way of life.

He should not be stigmatized for his ethanol love!Clearly, such behavior is just how God made him. It's genetic, for heaven's sake! Every time we use terms like "treatment" for Ethanolites, we make the act of large-quantity alcohol consumption into some kind of crime, instead of recognizing the beautiful act that it represents. Frankly, we could all experience this same deep and meaningful ethanol experience, but we would first have to have the courage to consume large quantities of ethanol and embrace the life of a Ethanolite to accomplish that spiritual elevation.

That's what Gene has done.Gene's not a drunk. He's not an alcoholic... he's an Ethanolite, celebrating his joyfulness in the constant company of ethanol. He has lead out (in the true sense of a groundbreaking ECUSA Bishop) in openly revealing that he is in a long term, loving, and affirming relationship with alcohol.

So, what are we afraid of? Grow up and let's all stop the "alcoholic treatment" hate speech against Gene V. Robinson! We are harming the church by such speech, and especially by such rigid and outmoded standards against Ethanolites.